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	The autobiography of Alfredo A. Gonzalez-Santiago "In a world full of secrets the best place to hide them is in plain sight. But in the vastness of the universe the best place to hide something from the gods is in a point in time." "We are part of a paradoxical state of existence undergoing the physical manifestation of the full cycle of knowledge" "Have you ever wondered why "Nature" saw it necessary for you to recollect years worth of memories?" "Our dreams are not visions of the future, they are memories from our past" "If I am who I am because I AM, how wonderful it is to be me because I am not. But if I am who I am because I am, how proud I AM would be because of me. Since I am not one nor the other and I am both, Blessed be thy name of great Jehovah, for when I am who I am because of thy will, I am greater than who I am because of mine!" Warning: Portions of this story may not be suitable for children under 17 or people with high sensitivities. Continue reading at your own discretion and risk. Disclaimer: The information contained hereunder are true accounts of my life and my perception on how I interpret the experiences spoken of. The companies and/or individuals spoken hereof are not endorsers of this website or its contents. Copying or distributing these writings in any form is prohibited. Foreword: Before you could assert or deny the existence of God, you must first give a definition for who or what God is. I firmly believe that God is the entire universe (or Multiverse if that is the case but let’s use universe hereafter for the sake of simplicity). That belief did not just pop in my head simply to create controversy. You see, one of the things that I learned while growing up was that God is omnipresent. For that statement to be true God would have to be the entire universe. Otherwise anything less would be demoting God. Once there is something bigger than God then God would fall into a second place in the hierarchy of gods. So your next question might be, how can you call a big expansion of matter with so many stars, planets, asteroids, and the apparent chaos God? Well, I also learned that God created us in his likeness and image. I am made up of matter and I am matter that can have a consciousness, be intelligent and be creative. If I follow the principles of mirrored realities then, at some point, an organized piece of matter, me, became aware of it’s existence. Well, then at some point, the universe became aware of itself and proceeded to design everything in “it’s mind”. Now this might be a little hard to wrap your head around but “at that point in which the universe became aware of itself” then something else happened: “Everything that will ever be already was”. Again that is not something that I am pulling out of my sleeve. Haven't your heard that God is Omni sapient? For that to be true then the former statement has to be true. You see, it has been said that God is the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. Therefore there is no beginning and there is no end and the essence of God and consequently the Universe and our own existence must be like a Klein Bottle, one surface. Hence, since you can’t establish no beginning and no end then everything must be occupying the same space at the same time, “even our thoughts”, yes, even our "spirit". After so many years of thought, I have come to this conclusion. If my theory is right then, all the answers to life, including eternal life are at our disposal at any time, we just need to “become aware of them”. I know it is easier said than done! If it makes it easier, at any time you feel like this is too much, simply look at it as if it was a science fiction story. Having said that, I have, for may years now, been preaching of things that many have said are interesting and that I should write a book about them. Things like paradoxical existences, mirrored realities, multiple realities, density of intelligence, the physical manifestation of intelligence, the full cycle of knowledge, etc. I am not claiming to be an authority in any of these subjects (or any other subject for that matter). Socrates wrote that he knew something in knowing that he knew nothing. Of course, he was trying to show some humility. While it would not be wise for me to not show humility, I would say that I know more things than many. Not because I have been endowed with a super brain (and if my theory is right then we all have as if there was a " Savant" inside all of us. Is just dormant.) but because I have made a commitment to learning about different subjects, even if the conclusions from the knowledge I have acquired are wrong. I would hope that every human being could arrive at the same conclusions that I have, even if they are not 100% correct. Why? you would ask. Because the sorrow that I have known due to the truth that I profess has also given me hope for a better tomorrow for humanity. Well, exactly how have I arrived at such conclusions? If I said I did it all on my own that would be the biggest lie ever told. It has been a combination of many things, including, interactions with supreme intelligences, interactions with an array of imperfect humans, my own trials and errors, and, dare I say, divine intervention. Divine intervention? Yes, but you could only agree with that statement if you believe that someone with my history could not arrive at the conclusions that I have arrived at and have the thoughts that I have had if it was not for the intervention of a supreme intelligence. There is a very good chance that you will not agree with me even after having read my whole story, but I beg you, read everything before you start judging. When you have finished reading, if you are still inclined to judge me, good or bad, look in the mirror, analyze your life and then star writing. Let's see if you arrive at the same judgement after writing your own life. In this story you'll see lots of things that you might think are not necessary in an autobiography. I agree, but this is not your ordinary story and I am not only trying to tell my story. You see, I am also trying to do a self-cleansing of sort and I am also trying to activate as many engrams as I can hoping that the engrams that I believe where stored in my brain by the aliens would be activated. I will try to color code things as best I can but for right now anything you see in red text are thoughts and or events that I believe have been caused by evil intelligences who have some sort of control over our actions and thoughts. Likewise, blue text are about thoughts and or events that I believe come from a good intelligences. I whole heartedly believe that reading my story will save you money. For the average John/Jane Doe this story would be helpful in avoiding my pitfalls independently if you suffer from mental illness or not. For the mental health professional I hope it would serve as an unprecedented “look inside the mind” of a human being. For the truth seeker, a platform to stand and grow. And for humanity, a new beginning full of hope and determination not to quit. By now it must be painfully obvious that I am not a writer nor do I have a perfect dominion of the English language. I hope that you will have the emotional intelligence to get past that rather quickly and just concentrate on the message. Keep in mind that this website is work in progress and all aspects of it should get better with time. Hopefully I could see a positive yield from it and finish it before I am dead (or the evil forces that have been hunting me all my life finish me off like they did with my grandmother). My life has been rather unusual. In my life I have lived in over 50 different addresses and had over 50 different jobs. I am over 50 years old and in my life, I only had sex with 5½ women (it's a Bill Clinton thing.) I have not had sex since my wife left me (over 15 years now). I witnessed a UFO and was abducted by three supreme intelligences when I was about 10 years old. I had multiple traumatic events happen to me. My wife left me and had a kid with another man thereafter. My kids grew apart from me thru no fault of mine. My brand-new car got hit 3 times 2.5 years after I bought it. I had a car accident in Philadelphia and even thought I had full coverage with full tort option I have a lawyer rejected the case after taking it. A VA doctor intentionally inflicted physical harm upon me. My fellow soldiers attacked me for no good reason. And the list goes on. I have been in a religious quest to find God and found it. I learned about paradoxical existences, mirrored realities, and other interesting subjects. I have not had the financial stability to properly take care of myself and my family but I am still hoping to be able to do that. To take care of my aging parents, my ill sister, my kids, etc. This is why I am asking for your support by making a small donation with Quickpay by Zelle. If you pay close attention, this story could save you hundreds if not thousands of dollars. Therefore, if you imagine that you went to the store and bought a rather interesting autobiography for $10-$20 you already saved your small $5 donation and then some. Your five dollar donation will not change your life for the worse but it could change my life for the better. Heck, it may even have a positive impact on humanity! Year: 1968 Lived at: Torecillas, Morovis, PR Significant Event(s): I was born in the 11th day of the month of Adar 5728 (Jewish Calendar) Year: 1969 Lived at: Torecillas, Morovis, PR Year: 1970 Lived at: Torecillas, Morovis, PR Significant Event(s): I could have died twice; after ingesting Clorox bleach and left wrist cut injury near vein I don't know if this is normal but I still have memories from when I was learning how to walk. We lived in Torecillas of Morovis, PR. My mother had a statute of the virgin Mary carrying baby Jesus in the front yard of the house. That was my first home (that I could remember). I crawled thru the grass and used the statute as support to stand up. I remember going "hunting" with my father. Well, actually, I would accompany him to the back of the house and he would disappear into the wooded area with his rifle. One day I was in the back yard and a spider crawled up my leg. I was crying long after I was striped of my clothing by my father trying to find the spider. This was the same home where I drank Clorox while playing with my neighbors at drinking tea, locked up my little brother in the bathroom and accidentally cut my left wrist with a Bosco Chocolate syrup bottle while running away from my sister. Year: 1971 Lived at: Barahona, Morovis, PR Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Year: 1972 Lived at: Vereda, Morovis, PR Significant Event(s): First fell in love I was around four years old when I first "fell in love" with my cousin. She was the "most beautiful thing" I ever saw and she had long soft hair down to her butt. I used to write her nick name, "Yady", inside little hearts every where I could. Oddly enough, I have a picture of what she looked like to this day. Year: 1973 Lived at: Vereda, Morovis, Puerto Rico Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Year: 1974 Lived at: Vereda, Morovis, Puerto Rico Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Year: 1975 Lived at: 1710 Montgomery Avenue, Bronx, NY Significant Event(s): Work in Progress I don't know how but my sister got a hold of some XXX magazines that my father had in his room and my mother walked in on us looking thru those magazines. Looking back, I think that was that evil intelligence we call Satan causing "damage" to "my soul". It was "programming" my mind to watch porn. Either way, that was part of my "sexual training", watching woman having regular, anal and oral sex. I hate to say it but I think that was the drop that spilled the glass because it was not long after that we left to New Jersey with my mother's uncle because my parents were going to get a divorce. Year: 1976 Lived at: Urbanizacion La Ruse, Morovis, PR Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Year: 1977 Lived at: Urbanizacion La Ruse, Morovis, PR Significant Event(s): Work in Progress There was that evil intelligence at work again. My mother was friends with the wife of the owner of the local movie theater and I would hang out at the projection booth to watch the man splicing the film and switching the projectors. One day there was a Disney animated film (I believe it was The Rescuers) and there was lots of kids in the theater that night. Somehow, there was a movie preview of a XXX film. The owner was having an argument with one of the mothers for obvious reasons and he said that the preview was there by mistake and there was nothing he could do about it. So all of us got to see deepthroat and anal sex just before the Disney film. Suffice to say, my mother did not allow me to go back to that theater and it was eventually closed down. But the "damage" was done. More porn for the young "data bank". Year: 1978 Lived at: Urbanizacion La Ruse, Morovis, PR Significant Event(s): Saw UFO, was abducted by Supreme Inteligences The year was approximately 1978 and I was 10 years old. My mother had sent me into town to buy bread. While walking back thru a partially desolate area I was starring at the stars and one of them caught my eye for it's peculiar shine. Suddenly, in a flash, it moved from the firmament to about a distance of 50 feet away from me and about 30 feet up from the ground (the red X on the map is the site of the encounter). It was not a star, it was a flying saucer a.k.a. UFO. It was about the size of a semi-trailer truck cabin. Think of a diamond with the bottom tip cut off. That was the shape. About one third from the top, it had a band of glass and within the band there was something that looked like a light going around very fast. It was the color of silver. As I was frozen in place by the astonishment, a strong beam of light came out from the bottom of it. As I start to run away, it departed just as fast as it came leaving behind the "swoosh of light" as the one you may see in the movies when spacecraft move into hyperspace. When I got home breathless from an unstoppable sprint, I told my mother (and the guest that were there) that I had seen a UFO but no one believed me. About a couple of weeks later I was abducted by three supreme intelligences. It was sometime around mid-night. I opened up my eyes and there were three entities next to my bed. I looked at them up and down and there was no feet touching the ground. Of course I got scared. My brother and I slept in a queen size bed and I turned over towards my brother so as not to see the three floating entities. My body started to levitate in the air. Yes, their arms were not under my body. I grabbed a hold of my brother's leg but it was not enough to hold me down. I lost consciousness (just like when you are placed under anesthesia). The next day I woke up in the afternoon. I looked outside my window and I could not see anyone around, not the neighbors, not my family. I thought to myself that they had taken everyone so I stayed in bed scared to come out of my room. A few minutes later, my little brother came running down the hallway yelling for me to come out to play outside. My mother stopped him saying "leave him alone". She walked into the room and ran her fingers thru my hair and asked, "what is happening?". I said nothing and hugged her. For many years, until I was grown up, I did not speak of the incident. It was not until I was in my 40's that I came to the realize (or theorize) of the connection between creation, evolution, religion and UFO's. "God Breaks Those He Wants To Make Great." You'll see what I mean later. But before I tell you all about it you'll have to read about how I became a broken man! Year: 1979 Lived at: Urbanizacion La Ruse, Morovis, PR Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): could have died from a bullet I don't remember what year it was exactly but I'll insert it here so as not to leave it out but it definitely occurred while I lived in "La Ruse". My friend Raul and I used to climb on top of the house roof top to play and we found a bullet on top of his. Dumb children as we were, we got curious about the bullet. Raul decided to smash the bullet with a rock and I was there to watch him do it. The bullet detonated and hit Raul in the thigh. We were both lucky or blessed, take your pick. That bullet could have easily ended up on his or my heart or head. I guess this is when my "military" training began. I became part of a group called "Los Bomberitos de Morovis". It was a group of kids "dressed" like firemen with firemen hats and we got training on "military drills and cadence". The idea was to be part of parades representing the town and the fire department. I was not there too long but it was the start of "military" mind set. Year: 1980 Lived at: Urbanizacion La Ruse, Morovis, PR Worked at: Local supermarket (Felco) Significant Event(s): Work in Progress When I was about 12 years old I already wanted to be a soldier. I watched them driving on the road in their convoys and it looked fun to me. I told my mother that I wanted her to buy me a pair of military boots. She said, "when you are grown up and make your own money then you could buy yourself the boots". I was determined to get me some military boots and went to the local supermarket (Felco - now just a shell) and started bagging groceries for tips. I got me a pair of military boots. I used to proudly walk around the neighborhood with my oversized military boots. (Over the last 12 years I have theorized that God wanted me to be in the military, in the US Air Force to be more precise, and as an engineer. There was supposed to be a progression that would active engrams that would "reveal" things that would help humanity. Well at least that is what I concluded or theorized from my life experiences) Year: 1981 Lived at: Urbanizacion La Ruse, Morovis, PR Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Year: 1982 Lived at: Calle Principal #8, Morovis, PR / 3468 North Hope Street, Philadelphia, PA Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Year: 1983 Lived at: Calle Principal (Accross from Jaime A. Collazo del Rio High School), Morovis, PR / Urbanizacion El Rosario Calle B-L3, Vega Baja, PR / 625 Montrose Street, Vineland, NJ / 630 Chesnut Avenue, Vineland, NJ Significant Event(s): An unseen intelligence caused for me to meet my future wife, Lina In December of 1983 my family went to visit my aunt in New York and since I wanted to learn English I asked my mother if I could stay with my aunt to finish my eleventh grade. Everyone agreed. I then lived at 1710 Montgomery Ave Apt 3A. That is where I met my later to be wife and first “official girlfriend”. First, please understand, growing up I had a thing for women with long hair. My cousin and his girlfriend said they had a girlfriend for me and told me that she was skinny and had long hair. Well of course I wanted to meet her already. Before the introduction I was very excited because they were “selling her” exceptional to me. When she came into the apartment I was giving my final touches to my “Lion’s mane”. I walked down the hall and there she was, standing next to the door, petrified, afraid to walk further into the apartment. She had a hat, hair beads, partial braids and a long head of hair down to her butt. It was the Culture Club’s - Karma Chameleon look. Hence the nick name Boy George. She had me at long hair. We hit it off right away BUT her upbringing was a little troubled and she “liked” to fight. We were together for a couple of months and then "it was over” (she became my wife a few years later) because of her “fighting” (she even slapped me for joking about “el tapon”, a sexual joke). Year: 1984 Lived at: 1710 Montgomery Avenue, Bronx, NY Worked at: Shoe store / My uncle's laundromat Significant Event(s): Had sex for the first time / Could have died from a bullet to the head My first job was in the summer of 1984 in a shoe store in Harlem, New York City as shoe salesman. Hum! My name is Al and I was a shoe salesman, get it! The store manager was impressed with my work ethic and said he did not want to see me go (I had to go back to school). Thank God it was just for the summer otherwise I would be called "Al Bundy". A couple of months later I was working part-time at my uncle's laundromat giving out change and cleaning after school and weekends. One night my girlfriend Lina, my cousin and his girlfriend and two other friends were cleaning the machines in the laundromat while a young kid was talking on the public phone inside the laundromat. We were careless and continued taking out the money from the machines. Just as we were to walk out, the young kid pulled what looked like a 357 magnum revolver and placed the tip of the gun on my forehead. He demanded the money and ordered us to walked to the back of the laundromat. We all continued to walked backwards while he had the gun pressed against my forehead. One wrong sudden movement and I could have been done. Thank God he ran away with the money without further incident. I continued to make friends with my cousins friends. We would hang out, "crash parties" and we would gather at Charlie's house to watch sports and can you guess - porn (there was plenty of porn movies to go around - more "sex training" for young mind) I later met my second girlfriend. She also had long hair down to her butt. She was the first woman I had sex with and I was having “the time of my life”. The first time we had sex was at my uncle’s laundromat on the rough cement floor. You want to talk about a rug burn? I dragged her from one end of the floor to the other and almost up the side of the dryer. She had burn scars for a couple of weeks as a result. From that day on we had sex multiple times a week, anytime, anywhere. We did it at the laundromat, with and without customers; at her apartment with or without her parents in the next room; in the hallway with or without our friends walking by; in the coat closet with a group of kids playing outside the door, at orchard beach and in the subway, just to mention a few. She would get down on her knees and "love me for a long, long time, if you know what I mean. The bad part about that, if you could believe that there is a bad part to that, was that this was my "sexual training". What I did not know at that “time of my life” was how negatively those “good times” would affect the rest of my life. Years later I concluded that "the porn girlfriend", was the result of an evil intelligence trying to derail my life (and that was not the first time, more on that later). Year: 1985 Lived at: 1710 Montgomery Avenue, Bronx, NY / Urbanizacion El Rosario Calle C Bloque G13, Vega Baja, PR Worked at: Uncle's Laundromat Significant Event(s): Graduated from Dewitt Clinton High School / moved back to Puerto Rico Then, in 1985, I had recently graduated from high school and wanted to “take over the world”. I worked for a few months at my stepfather’s clothing stores (two of them in Puerto Rico). I remembered when I was a kid dreaming of becoming a soldier but now as a teenager wanted to join the US Air Force. I went to the local Army / Airforce recruiting office in Vega Baja, Puerto Rico and, long story short, the Army recruiter convinced me to join the Army (Dream 1 slowing disappearing). I had told the recruiter that I liked working with computers and I wanted a job that had to do with computers, perhaps repairing them. He convinced me that as a 76Y (Unit Supply Specialist) I would be working with computers, not repairing them, but definitely with computers. I thought, well, you have to start somewhere. Year: 1986 Lived at: Fort Leonardwood, MO / Fort Lee, VA / Fort Leavenworth, KS Worked at: US Army Significant Event(s): Shipped to Basic training in the US Army I was only 17 years old but with the signature of my parents I was able to join and in February 1986, one month before my 18th birthday, was shipped out to basic training. I was “living the dream”, I was in the US Army. That dream quickly turned into a nightmare. I am not sure what gave the drill sergeant the impression that I was gay but I quickly became his target of an example of who should not be in the Army. At every turn of his eyes I was dropping for push-ups and sit-ups to the point of exhaustion and sometimes tears. One night upon returning from a drenching freezing rain night on the field we were huddled like live stock into the showers all naked waiting in line for the next open shower. I couldn’t hold it and peed on myself. That was not the worst, the worst was yet to come. Someone complained to the drill sergeant that I had peed on the shower floor and knowing the severe punishment that was to follow I lied about the event. I even looked for a witness who said we was willing to testify that I had not done so. The drill sergeant asked the squad leader to hold a court martial (mock) and bring in witnesses, including my witness to testify. After about 3 witnesses for the prosecution testified it was time for my witness, he turned. I was found guilty and sentenced to clean the showers every night. I don’t remember for how long but at least a couple of weeks (that is like dog years while going thru basic training). Now, on top of everything else, I was allowed to go to sleep then woken up in the middle of the night to clean the showers. This caused sleep deprivation. Ever since, I have had thoughts that remind me of these events. Every time I do something wrong, I see myself “arguing my case before the court”. Every little thing, like not stopping before the solid line at a cross walk, rushing to beat the yellow light, not finding a penny short in accounting, etc. I developed a kind of phobia about lying. Since washing the showers would leave me with wet clothing and we were not allowed to leave wet clothes hanging, I decided to wash the showers in my underwear. Someone did not like that and complained to the drill sergeant. The “you don’t belong here treatment” intensified. The drill sergeant would stand next to me while eating and I would have to eat faster than everyone else. He saw that he was not able to break me and changed his approach. He pulled me out of the squad and, while the company moved on, the sergeant ordered me to the back of the mess hall. I don’t remember how the conversation started but I do clearly remember him saying “I am going to f**k you with a fourteen inch d**k”... After that, I was afraid to go to sleep or stay asleep. To this day, over 30 years later, I still eat as if I was in the mess hall, with my head down into the plate and very fast. Through my life I have been mocked for eating fast. At the age of 47 people have remarked that I eat “Army fast” and my own son has remarked “I can’t keep up with your Dad” and “you can’t eat as fast as my Dad” when referring to my eating habits. Somehow I finished basic training but in the last day of having my M16 rifle I wanted to kill my drill sergeant. I had saved a bullet from the times we were in the shooting range and had it all planned out. I was going to do it after passing the weapons inspection. I wanted to have a perfectly cleaned M16 with the one bullet I had saved just for him. After all, I was a sharp shooter. I don’t remember why, but obviously I did not kill him. AIT (advanced individual training) was in Fort Lee, VA and I was anxiously waiting to start “working with computers”. NOT! I quickly found out that as a supply specialist there were lots of forms to fill out, manually. “What the hell?" Ok, "I could move on”. Towards the end of the training, a group of us decided to go dancing to a bar (it included some of the female soldiers). As the night went by, the “good looking ladies” had their men picked and there was only two of us left. She was not pretty, not ugly, but not pretty. Well, after a few drinks and a few slow jams things got heated up and we decided to go to a hotel. Of course I paid for everything, the cab, the room and the food. This was the second “lady” I had intimacy with and was not prepared at all. I was like a raging bull and no condoms. I was horny, I was drunk and not thinking about STD’s nor unwanted pregnancies. We did it that night and then in the morning. Here is were that "sexual training" with my high school girlfriend started to take it's negative effects on me. At some point while we were having sex I brought up my penis to her face expecting to have the fellatio I had not had in a long, long time. She would not budge. At the moment I though she is just weird or in-experienced in sex. But of course I was the one, I just did not know better. I did not want her to feel cheap so I told her I was going down stairs to buy breakfast and came back with “the whole menu” plus some flowers. I don't know if it was the unwelcomed attempt at the fellatio or the flowers that did (or at least I wanted to think that) but she did not speak to me the rest of the training. Other soldiers would ask me if I had sex with her and I denied it. Not because she was not pretty but because I did not want them to treat her different (I was trying to keep her honor if you will). My first girlfriend, Lina, had sent my a valentine day card and knowing that I did not have any feelings for her I sent her a letter thinking that it would let her down easy but it was ultimately what made me want to marry her a few years later. Mind you, this letter has been in the family for 31 years and currently is under my daughter's possession. I went to serve my active duty at the United State Disciplinary Barracks (USDB – Military Prison). I was determined to put basic behind me and become the “soldier I was meant to be”. I wanted to be liked by my peers and to that end I volunteered for everything. One of the things I volunteered for was “The Big Muddy”, a one hundred nautical mile rafting competition down the Missouri river between the Army, Airforce, Marines and a couple of other groups. Soldiers that had done it in previous years did not want to volunteer because it was a miserable three days of intense rafting and night exercises. I was given some instructions regarding meals, we were to only eat MRE’s (Meals Ready to Eat) but we could eat them anytime we wanted. I packed my MRE and headed to prepare the equipment while my team was eating breakfast. That was a mistake. While we were rafting I got hungry and proceeded to eat my MRE while the others were paddling. They all looked back upset. Later, one of the evening competitions entailed rappelling face down on a 50 foot wall. I had never done that before and was afraid to do so, but my team needed the points so I volunteered. I ended up hanging upside down and did not get all the points for the event. One of the staff sergeants “chewed” me out for eating when I was hungry and not being able to properly rappel face down. The sore losers actually blamed me for losing the competition to the Airforce team. Soldiers like to go out to drink but I did not really like drinking (or smoking for that matter). I would drink beers to be “social”. One night there was a party and a hooker was brought in to dance half naked. She was going around giving kisses in the mouth to many soldiers. When she came to over to me I really did not want to kiss her, but not doing so would get me some kind of label, like gay. She kissed me with a lot of saliva in her mouth. I was discussed by it, what if I would catch some kind of STD? I was spitting for a week and had more antiseptic mouth washes than I ever had in my life. Year: 1987 Lived at: Fort Leavenworth, KS Worked at: US Army Significant Event(s): My mind changed One day, my First Sergeant casually asked if I wanted to be part of S.O.R.T. (Special Operations Response Team – A riot control and special weapons team for prisons). I answered absolutely yes. This was my chance to prove to the company that I was not the fruitcake they thought I was. Another big mistake. How the hell was I supposed to know that Sergeant Brown had already answered no on my behalf? You see, going to SORT training meant that Sergeant Brown had to take on my work load for a few weeks and he was not happy about that. But Company C was commanded to come up with at least one volunteer for S.O.R.T. and I was it. I had never met the training crew of the SORT team prior to the training but somehow they had it in for me and they "recruited" the rest of the team against me. While conducting physical training running with a special deflated hard leather ball, they would hit me very hard on my chest with it. They were clearly trying to make me quit (again). While playing basketball, a couple of the soldiers where “banging me” while I was dribbling the basketball. I thought that they were looking for a fight to get me kicked out of the training. So I did not give them one. That did not work so later while taking a class on martial arts defense, one of the instructors picked me up, one hand on my neck and another in my growing and threw me. No one came to help me while I was in pain on the floor. Trainers and classmates just watching. They are not going to make me quit, I thought. I continued with the training. Later we had riot training with batons. The instructor was clearly aiming for my left hand to injure it and he did. He fractured my left hand thumb and I had to go to the ER where they put a cast on my left hand. One of the SOB instructors actually asked me if I was ready to quit upon returning from the hospital to which I answered NO. Yet in another incident we were in the gas chamber and they blindfolded me and kept me there much longer than the rest of the team. I think that is why I have asthma nowadays. Near the end of the training, we were in a room below the Headquarters main office reviewing things that we had learned in training. I don’t remember really how it got started, but one of the instructors said “grab him” and instructors and classmates held me down from all limbs while one of the instructors forced a piece of paper into my mouth. When they finally let go, I ran out of the room into the HQ office and was crying uncontrollably. It was fear, it was anger, rage. I wanted to kill them all but did not have the strength or the courage to do it. The HQ secretary found me on the floor and help me up which added to my humiliation. Here was a soldier, crying like a baby on the floor. (Just recently, September 2019, about 32 years after this incident, during a therapy session with a psychologist, I discoverd a trigger to my PTSD and had a strong flashback to what occured that day. When they held me down, one of the sergeants was squeezing my throat and asked me "are you gonna quit?". When I was in the therapy session with the psychologist I was explaining to her that I was taking a math class at the university and was having problems because some wired stuff happening with the professor. The psychologist asked me, "are you gonna quit?" and I became angry responding that I would not. It did not hit me at that time but about half an hour later I relized that all those years people would try to make me quit and I would become angry and defensive and my co-workers would become "the enemies". Everybody was trying to keep what had happened under wraps because it was not until the Battalion Sergeant Major handed me my certificate of completion and saw that I grabbed it with a cast on my hand that the questions started. I was interrogated by multiple parties, my company commander, my first sergeant, my staff sergeant, an investigator from the Airforce, and another from the Marines. The Marines and Airforce investigative questions made me feel like what happened was my fault. Each time I had to recount what happened it was like re-living it. To this day those memories bother me. Sometimes, as I am thinking of those events my hands move as if I am actually there and when I realized I am not there, the people around me are looking as if I am crazy. Years later my daughter had told me multiple times, Daddy stop talking to yourself. To avoid being humiliated in public, I asked my daughter to come up with a signal or sign when she would see me doing that. It was simple, Daddy STTY. It worked. It would bring me back to reality with minimal embarrassment. To this day she still catches me "arguing my case" in lala land. (The note on the right was given to me by my daughter in 2016) By now I was not very popular within the battalion and was looking to change that so I volunteered for Post Soldier of the Year competition. It was basically studying an array of subjects including US and military history. To get to “the top” you first had to become Company Soldier of the Year and Battalion Soldier of the Year. Again, it was not like the usual talent competition, so I breezed thru the first two levels. Company C of the USDB had never won Post Soldier of the Year and my entire chain of command was looking forward to a first win. While preparing for the Post Soldier of the Year, my Staff Sergeant gave me a piece of advice, “when answering questions, if you don’t know the answer, simply say that you don’t know the answer. They will respect you for it, you don’t want to appear to be guessing”. On the day of the competition it really came down to two of us and I later found out that I missed it by one question; could the US flag be used as a drape in a podium? I obviously answered as my Staff Sergeant had suggested. The Battalion Sergeant Major was visibly upset and he later pulled me to the side and said “…you had this in the bag. This was a fifty-fifty chance kind of answer. Why did you not take a guess?” I answered honestly and told him because sergeant Brown told me not to guess and that I should be honest and say that I don’t know the answer if I didn’t know. Big mistake. Now my Staff Sergeant had it in for me as well because the Battalion sergeant major came down on him and consequently my company First Sergeant.   Later it was time for The Big Muddy, again. This time I did not really want to go but it was a chance to get away. The team was mostly the same people as the previous year and they actually said that they did not want me in the raft or the whole team would not be participating. So I spend the time on the sidelines for ground support. I bought me a scooter and later traded it for a Honda Rebel 250. As a result I made friends with another soldier who bought another Honda Rebel (he got the 500 model, I could not afford a more expensive model). We would take rides to Kansas City just for the fun of riding. I was just trying to make friends. Somehow it was not working out. One night we were invited to a few beers at another soldier’s home. They started smoking pot and I left their home. I was afraid that if I was asked about the incident I would tell the truth and get in trouble with them. So I had to give up the only friend I had in the base. Since I did not have friends in the base I got me a part time job at the Post Theatre. I started out selling candy and quickly moved up to manager and then projectionist (it was a small operation). There I met a young redhead. We kissed and I almost got to first base. When I found out she was 17 I ended it. I was not ready to be in the other side of the wall if you know what I mean. Later that year there was a light skin black soldier that was temporarily assigned to my unit. She was very voluptuous and I was like a puppy around her. Long story short she came to my room and asked for a back massage. I started kissing her neck and when she turned around there they were, right in front of my face. The biggest breast I have ever had before or after. We started having sex and of course the "porn sexual training" kicked in. I turned her around and started with the doggie style. At that time there was a foul smell coming from her rear. In that very moment, all the training we had received about STD's and AIDS came to mind and I quickly retreated like a scared dog that had been hosed down. I told her we had to ended and she left wanting for me to finished what I started. I ran to the shower and must have spent like a good hour there trying to "wash away" any viruses or bacteria. Crazy, I know. Year: 1988 Lived at: Fort Leavenworth, KS / Urbanizacion Alturas de Vega Baja Calle BB Bloque CC#38, Vega Baja, PR / Fort Leonardwood, MO / Aguadilla, PR Worked at: US Army Significant Event(s): Exited US Army / Started US Army Reserves and College When it came time for reenlistment, I was offered a very sweet deal. I was going to go back to Puerto Rico for a two years paid training in Electronics, no uniform, full pay and benefits. Since the next class was to start in the summer, I would have to be in Fort Leavenworth for another 4 months. But the ordeal was not over, an E7 started to put pressure on me, trying to see if he could get me an article 15 (punishment and reduction in rank). I went back to the reenlistment office and told them I wanted to get out. I could not take another 4 months there. When I got out I went thru my separation physical. The items that came up, loss of hearing, broken thumb and what I described as been nervous. I knew something was different about me, about my psyche but I could not explain it. I was not trying to get a disability check, I was just answering their questions honestly. They refused to give me compensation anyway. For years I was not able to “adjust” to my civilian life. I had over 50 jobs since then. Got fired from most of them. Was suffering from anxiety, depression and unknown to me PTSD. When I left active duty I still had a commitment of 4 years of reserve time and I was assigned to the 448th Engineer Battalion in San Juan, Puerto Rico. My new job was 51R – Interior Electrician. I arrived at the unit on March of 1988 and when I found out I was going to go back to Fort Leonardwood, MO for 51R training I could not stop thinking about how I was going to take my revenge against my former drill Sergeant. Nope, I did not kill him. But I thought about it quite a bit. After returning from 51R training, I started hanging out around the Unit Administrator office trying to get ADT (active duty for training days). Kind of a part-time job on top of the one weekend a month deal. There I learned how to use Dbase III plus and became useful in the office. The unit administrator took a liking to me (or at least I thought) and got me two assignments, Unit Retention NCO and Training NCO. As a result I would have to enter the results of training and testing into the Dbase III plus database. Well, there was a problem. The unit administrator wanted me to forge the PT (physical training) testing and weight results for a couple of his friends (they were over weight and slow and did not meet standards). I told him I would not do it. Later I saw documents that had passing results and I started to get anxious. As a result I asked for a transfer into the National Guard for a position into 29E – Radio Repairer. A month or two after transferring to the National Guard I heard that my former unit, the 448th Engineering Battalion was deployed the middle east. In between, had a couple of temporary jobs, with Kelly Temps for cleaning maintenance and with Olsten Temps as a Sales associate. These jobs were very short. In the fall of 1988 I was studying at American College in Manati, PR. There I met my third official girlfriend who was the forth woman I had sex with (I call her my 21 accomplishment, you'll read why in a minute). We hit it off right away but it took a few months before, you know, she gave it up. I was not her first and she was not my first and we were both ok with that. At some point in the relationship I asked her to marry me and she said "don't you think you should think it thru?" That was very disappointing but we continued the relationship. I don't remember what led to the conversation with my fellow soldiers but, you know guy talk, we ended up talking about how many times you could ejaculate in one night. So I took the challenge. I called my girlfriend, took her to dinner, then to the motel and started counting. 21 times that evening. We went at it for about 6 hours (taking brakes of course). When got done I could hardly walk, my knees would not support me. When I took her home she confessed "Papi me dejastes quema!" After that, I would often get painful erections. Looking back now it was not the soldiers that put forth the challenge but that evil force that controls our actions who wanted me to have an injury to my penis. Year: 1989 Lived at: Urbanizacion Alturas de Vega Baja Calle BB Bloque CC#38, Vega Baja, PR / Urbanizacion Floral Park Calle Lorrens Torres # 404, Hato Rey, PR Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress In the fall of 1989 I started going to college for Electronics Engineering degree at the Polytechnic University of Puerto Rico. Things started looking up for me. I was going to be a radio repairer with the Army and get my BS in EEI. At the university I got me a part-time job at the registrar’s office helping out with office work, greeting visitors, etc. Year: 1990 Lived at: Urbanizacion Alturas de Vega Baja Calle BB Bloque CC#38, Vega Baja, PR / 1710 Montgomery Avenue #3A Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress I was on my way to realize my new dream of Electronics Engineer. NOT! My ex-girlfriend from high school (Boy George) went to Puerto Rico on vacation and just out of the blue we decided to get married. (in my opinion, guided by the same intelligence that gave me my porn girlfriend in New York). At the time I was not in love with her, but she had kept a letter that I sent her while I was in the Army and because of that I felt that she was truly in love with me. She appeared to be humble and that was all I needed to say yes. I asked her if she was still a virgin and she said yes. She returned to New York and we agreed that I would stay back for a few months to save some money. I would call her almost every night and while the time came to move to NY I was working with my brother in a book warehouse saving up some money to move to NY. I moved to NY with $300 in my pocket and a lot of dreams. We got married on Nov 10, 1990 to my high school girlfriend (Boy George as I called her) from which I got two kids that I adore. I called her my Boy George because in the night we met she had the hat, braids and beads like Boy George (Culture Club was very popular those days). We got married by the city clerk and later we had a small ceremony at a local church. Our honeymoon consisted of one night in a motel near the Whitestone Bridge in the Bronx. Shortly after moving to New York, I heard that the National Guard unit I was in was deployed the middle east. First things first, I got me a job as a sales associate in Canal Jeans. I did not pay a lot but it was a start. One day I found a purse with more than $300 in cash. I turned it in to security. They said if no one claimed it within 30 days it was going to be mine. Boy did I need that money. Nope, just after Christmas my very mean gay supervisor told me “we are letting you go”, just like that. No reason, just we are letting you go. That was a crash course on “at will employment in NY”. It was time to continue with my Electrical Engineering degree but there was no colleges with Electrical Engineering degrees near were my new wife and I lived and she did not want to move. So it was either study something else or dump the new wife. I had to study something else and opted for BS in Accounting. I though “my uncle had a laundromat business and with it he raised a family with no formal education, if I get a BS in accounting I will be able to have lots of laundromats, I’ll be rich!” Later with my wealth I could move my wife anywhere in the country and study engineering. Well, if those dreams would have come true you would not be reading this story. Year: 1991 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress I quickly bounce back and got me a job with ECCO Security. My supervisors were impressed. Part of my job consisted of giving summons to university students for illegally parking at campus without a valid or expired sticker. I was the one getting the most summons. In the rain under a plastic bag or freezing NYC snow, there I was with my summons book, my clipboard and plenty of extra pens. I had a good time, I loved “catching the bad guys”. You see, "they" did wrong and I was "prosecuting" them. I had applied for a job as a driver with U.P.S. and resigned from my security job when I got hired. I felt being “pushed by my supervisor” for demanding that I finished my routes earlier than other drivers. Heck, I know I was giving it my all. I started to “gather evidence” making copies of daily statistical reports to show proof that “I was being discriminated against” by my supervisor. He was doing "the wrong thing" and I was going to "have my day in court". Long story short, the supervisor got me fired. While going thru the exit interview with human resources I clearly stated what happened. I quickly got another job as a bus driver for handicap people with Malborough Bus Company. Somehow the Human Resources department at U.P.S. believed my story and I was called back to work for U.P.S. I continued to gather evidence against my “racists” supervisors. I was determined to “have my day in court” and show them that “they were guilty”. I was eventually was fired again. Year: 1992 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Year: 1993 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): The Birth of my first child Year: 1994 Lived at: Worked at: Bronx VAMC Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Sep 7, 1994 to Sep 11, 1994 First trip to Dominican Republic where I met my in laws I quickly got a job with Burns Security and my job was primarily driving students of Jeshiva University from the main campus in the upper Manhattan to the mid-town location. I don’t remember under what circumstances I left Burns, but I later got a Job with the Veterans Administration Medical Center in the Bronx. I already had some accounting credits under my belt and got a position with the accounting department. My first big and only assignment was doing an audit of patient funds. Halfway thru, I had discovered that there were thousands of dollars of patient funds un-accounted for. Long story short, they got me transfer to the payroll department, they started to put pressure on me to quit, they got me almost arrested for destroying property I did not destroyed, I spent some time in the psych ward and subsequently fired. They said that if I did not agree to take medication I would be terminated. Well I did not take any medication, so I was fired. “They” got away with it again. Year: 1995 Lived at: Worked at: Bronx VAMC Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Year: 1996 Lived at: Worked at: Bronx VAMC Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Since being in the Army people would tell me that I must have hearing loss because I raised my tone of voice as if I did. I had a few hearing test since I came out of the Army and all of them have come back with no hearing loss. I raise my voice without noticing it until is too loud, too late. That leads me to believe that the raising of the voice is post traumatic in nature and I don’t understand the triggers but definitely related to my service. Since basic training I eat uncontrollably fast (unless I am constantly being made aware of it and even then I still eat faster than most people). This was also related to my service. I guess the trigger is having food in front of me. My “military career” ended with one hospitalization in the psychiatric ward of Gracie Square Hospital in New York City.You see, I had been doing lots of ADT (active duty for training days) for a new project to help kids “become soldiers”. One day I saw a soldier place some   military equipment in the back of a personal pickup truck. When asked if this happened by another soldier I told the truth. One soldier told me that the unit administrator was furious for me telling lies and he was going to kill me. I believed he would and started carrying around with a “Rambo knife” to defend myself. This situation got me very depressed and that is how I ended up in the ER room of a hospital in the Bronx. There they placed me on a straight jacket and sent me to Gracie Square. When I came out, I received a call from someone in the Army saying that I would be getting a general discharge and not a medical discharge. And that was it, the Army was done form me. The movie Phenomenon with John Travolta was released in June of 1996. Right now I don't remember if this was the first time, but since then I have seen my life (portions of it) depicted in Movies and TV shows. If you watched and remember the movie, George Malley's intellect was affected by a light that came from outer space. I would make the claim that the light that I saw in 1978 from the UFO together with the abduction from supreme intelligences that same year made me more intelligent that I would otherwise have been without the experiences. At the very least, they made me more accepting of things that most human beings would not be willing to or be afraid to consider. Year: 1997 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): The birth of my second child / Obtained BA in Accounting I soon got a job with a temporary agency, ASA Temps, working at CDC International. It was a sweet job, they even bought me lunch everyday. I left it to get a better paying job with Accounttemps working at Johnson & Higgins (an insurance company). While working there, the accounting manager took a liking to me (or at least what I thought) because I was literally doing the job of four accountants. He recommended me for a position with the acquiring company Marsh & McLennan. However, he was giving me some journal entries about writing off assets that I considered suspicious and I just had to tell the new manager (I was not going to take the heat for any wrong doing). I got fired. After loosing my job with Marsh & McLennan, I went on to work at Cornell University Medical College as a Staff Accountant thru a temp agency. I don't remember right now the details but, I got fired. Shortly thereafter I got a job with McLaughlin Resources working as a Staff accountant for an internet porn site company. One of the accountants there was lying to his manager about some data and when I implied I could do it better, he implied that they were using the company as a front to launder drug money. I got out of there faster than anyone could say fired. Imagine if I had to tell anyone about that, no way Jose. By this time my wife was kind of sick of me loosing so many jobs and we were separated for a few months and that is how I landed in Puerto Rico. My first job over there was with a security company working at a helicopter hangar in San Juan. One day I saw the helicopter landing as they returned from a trip to the Dominican Republic. Someone took a package out of the helicopter and gave it to a police officer before the helicopter went thru inspection. Drugs, I thought. Of course I had to get out of there. There was no way I was going to be accused of being an accomplice. Soon I got a job working at Vicana Systems Corporation in Hato Rey, Puerto Rico. They hired me as a Staff Accountant but I was doing everything. From payroll to inventory to assisting with POS systems (Point of Sale) sales and installations. I loved the job. But my wife went to Puerto Rico and said that if I do not return with her she was going to kill herself. Was I supposed to let that happen? Well, of course not, not even in retrospect. Year: 1998 Lived at: Ojo de Agua, Vega Baja, PR Worked at: Vicana Systems Significant Event(s): Work in Progress I had many other jobs: Vanguard Temporary Services, Inc. Staff Accountant Core Staffing Services Staff Accountant Cross & Guard Temporary Services Staff Accountant Year: 1999 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Movie The Matrix Released Mar 4 1999 to Mar 8, 1999 Second trip to Dominican Republic - I almost died from a "stomach bug" - In retrospect I think it was an attempted homicide by means of a poison. When I first saw the movie The Matrix it was just another movie. Since then I have come to believe that I am Neo. Then the question is not why I believe that. The questions are, who and why "they" want to kill me? There is a whole lot more out in the internet and society that could disrupt they way people think. I feel that I am a vessel of information that needs to come out in order to move forward as the human race. If I am wrong, we loose nothing. H&R Block Tax Preparer Year: 2000 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Citizens Advice Bureau, Inc. Staff Accountant Manpower, Inc. Laborer Accounting Solutions, Inc. Staff Accountant Virtual Growth, Inc. Staff Accountant South Bronx Overall Economic Dvlpmnt Corp Computer Instructor Consortium for Worker Education Computer Instructor Year: 2001 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress On September 11, 2001 I was down the street from the World Trade Center in New York. When the first plane hit I was inside the Wall street US post office and did not hear a thing. When I came out, I looked up the street and there were hundreds of people along the sidewalk and thousands of papers falling from the sky. For a moment I though “a ticker tape parade, for who?”. Not thinking too much about it, walked across the street to the board of elections office to turn in my voter registration card. While sitting in “the John” I felt the loud explosion and the building shaking like an earthquake. When I came out I was told that we were under attack.   I walked up to the World Trade Center building and along the route I picked up some documents that had the smell of jet engine fuel “for evidence”. My instincts were telling me to go inside to help out, but there was that voice inside my head telling me to “get out of here”. I walked up the street to the next train station and took a train to midtown to the office I was working at. By the time I got there the first tower had collapsed. I went to pick up my wife who was working near 42nd street and by the time I got her the second tower collapsed. This was a time in my life that was a major turning point. I started to wonder what if I was one of the dead ones. What happens after death? I had been raised Christian but was not active in any church. Since my mother had been converted to Jehovah’s Witness (JW) I started to visit a Kingdom Hall near where I lived. My father, who is catholic told me that I should not visit the JW because they “changed the Bible”. What was I supposed to do? Under one hand I had my mother telling me to visit the JW and on the other my father telling me to go catholic. I remembered that my grandmother had an old catholic Bible and I asked my father if he could get a hold of it for me. I wanted to know for myself if in fact the JW had changed the Bible by comparing the two. Since my father was not able to get me my grandmother’s Bible, I started to do something that I never had done before. Pray with purpose. In my prayer I said “God, if you exist, I want to serve you. Please help me find an old Bible.”     Since 9-11 occurred we had been hearing advise on TV that we should carry cash in the event that some emergency keep us from withdrawing money from an ATM and following that advise I had $200 with me all the time. One day I saw a man in the subway preaching the coming of Jesus with what appeared to be an old Bible in his hands. I asked him to let me see his Bible and when I opened the cover the printing year was in 1980’s. “God answered my prayer”, I thought. I offered to buy the Bible from him to which he exclaimed “are you crazy, I’m going to church”. I kept praying for an old Bible and one day I was walking up the street on 5th Ave and saw an old man selling old books. I asked if he had among them an old Bible, he said “yes”. One from 1833 and another one from 1847. Now this was definitely my prayer being answered. I asked how much for both and he said $280. I told him I would give him $200 and he accepted. I went on to read the Bible but progress was slow. I was already separated from my wife a third time and moved to Puerto Rico. While studying the Bible (B.I.B.L.E. = Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) I discovered that there where correlations between verses of the Bible and Science. Let me give you a few examples. Psalm 139:16 (King James Version) reads “Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.” Well DNA is a substance that is perfectly imperfect because the telomeres loose their exact copy and therefore we age and in the written code of the “book” of the DNA all the members of our bodies are continually fashioned or designed even before there were none of them (even before you were a winkle in the eyes of your father). Revelation 6:14 King James Version (KJV) And the heaven departed as a scroll when it is rolled together; and every mountain and island were moved out of their places. If you look at an artist rendition of what a black hole does to a planet you could see that Revelation 6:14 was right on the money.   Hebrews 9:22 says, "Without shedding of blood there is no remission." I John 1:7 tells us that "The blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanses us from all sin." Here there is the removal of blood and blood cleanses our sins. That sounds like dialysis to me! Genesis 2:21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam, and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof; 22And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. That sounds like cloning to me (and you could change the sex during the cloning process). Therefore, one must conclude that if these Basic Instructions include things of science then our father in heavens must be showing us how to love one another thru science. Furthermore, one must conclude that there is a force or intelligence (we call it the Holy Spirit, I call it WiFi) that was affecting the thought process of the men who wrote the Bible so as to cause them to write those things. Young king David thought he was writing a poem, a song, to glorify God. John who wrote Revelations though he was writing about the history and teachings of Jesus Christ. In reality this Holy Spirit was affecting their thought process so that in this day and age we could make those correlations and see for ourselves that there is in fact a higher power at work. In fact, since there is a power or intelligent force that has the ability to place (or write) thoughts in the minds of humans, then the same force could have the ability to retract or read thoughts from the minds of humans. Psalm 94:11 The LORD knows the thoughts of man, That they are a mere breath. Isaiah 66:18 "For I know their works and their thoughts; the time is coming to gather all nations and tongues. And they shall come and see My glory. Ezekiel 11:5 Then the Spirit of the LORD fell upon me, and He said to me, "Say, 'Thus says the LORD, "So you think, house of Israel, for I know your thoughts. Psalm 139:23 Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; Psalm 139:2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up; You understand my thought from afar. Proverbs 16:9 The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps. Matthew 12:25 And knowing their thoughts Jesus said to them, "Any kingdom divided against itself is laid waste; and any city or house divided against itself will not stand. Therefore when we act under the influence of the Holy Spirit one could say: If I am who I am because I AM, how wonderful is to be me because I am not. And if I am who I am because I am how proud I AM would be because of me. Since I am not one nor the other and I am both, blessed be thy name oh great Jehovah, for when I am who I am because of thy will, I am greater than who I am because of mine. Before continuing with the job on job off routine let me tell you my thoughts on gay people. Growing up in Puerto Rico the mentality, of course, was that of strong catholic religious views and machismo. Of course there was no room to accept gays and lesbians. But life has a funny way of teaching us life lessons, among them compassion and understanding. While I was married in New York, my then wife had a few friends from work that included a gay guy, I’ll call him John Doe out of respect for his privacy. We liked to invite her friends over for parties and dinner at our home and in one occasion my wife actually asked me if it was OK to invite JD over. Of course I hesitated, I was not comfortable with that “gay guy” in my home. However, I thought, I had to learn to accept all of her friends. Besides, I knew that being gay was not “contagious”, at least not airborne. With time, JD became just JD and not the “gay guy”. I could almost say he was a friend of ours and not just my wife's. One time I heard that JD was in the hospital suffering from AIDS. Back in those days AIDS was still somewhat an unknown and I was still afraid of being around people with AIDS. My wife reminded me that you only know who your friends are when you are in the hospital. So I decided to pay him a visit. Follow @agonz3 When I saw him he looked like he was in his death bed. Very skinny, bonny if you will. I still was afraid of the AIDS aspect of the situation and did not want to touch him. We exchanged a few words, the usual, I hope you get better and all that. But there was something inside of me saying pray for him. I remember from my younger years that if you were to pray for the ill you should place your hands over them but I still was afraid of the AIDS. Even so I reached to his blanket covered leg, closed my eyes and said a simple, very short prayer in my mind, “God please forgive him in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.” I did not tell him I was praying for him but I think the one tear in my eye kind of told him I was. I could also see in his eyes he thought he was a goner. I said my good-byes and wished him the usual. A few months later in the latter half of 2001 JD was at my home again. I was at the time separated from my wife but I invited both of them for dinner. He had gained plenty of weight and no longer looked like a cadaver. With time I lost track of JD but I always thought that my sincere prayer that day at the hospital had a lot to do with his recovery. You may think it was the doctor’s intervention and medications that did the work alone. I would say to you that those were just the tools that God used to make him better. I could not honestly say that I have fully accepted the gay / lesbian lifestyle. However, I certainly have learned to accept people for whom they are and not for the label that is placed on them by society. When I visit my cousin and her partner in California, I am simply visiting my cousin and not her sexual preferences. One fact that I find very interesting is that if we simply evolved from a single cell organisms then the lady called nature is one clever lady. She knew recursively that there had to be a mechanism by which humanity’s growth had to be slowed down by having same sex organisms be attracted to each other. Even more interesting is that if we are the result of intelligent design, then God designed some people with the need to be attracted to the same sex, presumably to slow down the growth of the organism called humanity. Year: 2002 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): My grandmother Mercedes died on April 2002 My grandmother on my mother's side (Abuela Mercedes) had been living in a senior home. When she got very ill she was hospitalized at the main hospital in Manati. I went to visit her and the room was extremely cold. I believe "they" did this on purpose to cause her to get worse (because "they" wanted me to see her suffering). A couple of weeks went by and she was on intensive care. The family was called to the hospital because "she was not going to make it". I remember there was about four of us around her bed when the nurse came to "drain liguids" from her and placed a tube down her mouth. She shoved that tube so far in that I saw my grandmother give a jolt and then she was dead. The nurse looked at me with a weird look (as if she was possessed by something). I was in shock and did not say anything. Even if I had said anything, who would believe me? "They" killed my grandmother right in front of me. Sociedad Agricola Hermanos Perez Accounting Clerk Instrumentation Systems & Engineering Office Manager Year: 2003 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Labor Ready of PR Inc. Customer Service Rep   Year: 2004 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress MSEPR Hospitality Inc. Assit to Gen Manager Year: 2005 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Vivendi Universal Studios Cart Attendant This was one of the jobs that I really liked and did not have any problems (maybe because I was not there long enough). All the same, I loved seeing people smile and having a good time. I had to quit because I was not making enough to pay my bills Hospitality Staff Inc Server So at this point I was literally homeless, sleeping in a the minivan for thirty days. I used to watch the bartenders in the restaurant and thought I could do that. Heck I could be just like Tom Cruise in the movie Cocktails. "I'll make a lot of money". So I found out about where to take a bartender course and got going. So at this point I was working at Universal Studios, working at a restaurant at Shades of Green in Disney and going to bartending school. Shortly after finishing the bartending school it was time to rent the minivan for another 30 days, but when I call to renew the rental agreement they told me that another 30 days would cost me over a thousand dollars (over 1500 with the insurance) and just simply could not afford that. I decided to go back to Puerto Rico. I just up and left. There it went, my "Cocktails and Dreams" disappearing. Embasy Suites Hotel Server   My sister had been baptized Mormon and one day I was sitting at my sister’s living room with some of the missionaries from The Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints, also known as the Mormons. When they told me the story of Joseph Smith, I was in shock. I also was visited by “a pillar of light from the heavens” and by “angels floating in the air” when I was a boy. For a while I was kind of in denial because what Joseph Smith story meant to me was that I was PART 2. So I did not get baptized right away. A few months had passed and one day I was with the missionaries in my sister’s living room again and this time they read me a verse from Alma 12:10 (Book of Mormon) “ 10 And therefore, he that will harden his heart, the same receiveth the lesser portion of the word; and he that will not harden his heart, to him is given the greater portion of the word, until it is given unto him to know the mysteries of God until he know them in full.” That was my aha moment. Right there and then I told the missionaries that they had to baptize me that week and so it was. That was on a Sunday and by the following Sunday (June 2005) I was baptized and confirmed a member of the LDS church.     During this time I had built a home with my father from an insulated meat container and was living in my land. For various days I had a repeating thought in my mind, “the key to unlocking the DNA is in the finger prints”. I had the same thought almost everywhere I went. One day I was driving to Bayamon, Puerto Rico to get a haircut from my mother. I had taken with me my laundry to go wash clothes at my mother’s house after getting the haircut.   I drove past a laundromat and thought to myself (you will soon find out that it was not my thought) that I should not burden my mother with my laundry and I should go a wash the clothes myself. Mind you this was a laundromat that I had never been in before this event. While waiting for the clothes to dry, I sat at the waiting area and picked up a magazine that I had never seen before (the exact same one to the left of this paragraph). As you can see there is a hand with some old keys and lines that would suggest fingerprints with a connection to the other page to a strand of DNA. What a strange way for the author to tell the story. I immediately concluded that, just like in ancient times God had affected the thoughts of men to cause them to write of things of Science in the Scriptures, that God also affected my thoughts to cause me to think “the key to unlocking the DNA is in the finger prints”. Internal Revenue Service Customer Service Rep Year: 2006 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress July 2006 American Systems Ministorage Assistant Office Manager One day in January 2006 I was laying down in bed and in the middle of the night I had one of those persisting thoughts in my mind again. This time it was, “go to Salt Lake City, Utah”. Around mid-night I got in the internet and bought a round trip ticket from San Juan, Puerto Rico to Salt Lake City Utah. By 8 am I was in my sister’s house asking her to take me to the airport. By 12 noon I was at the airport and by 8 pm I was in Salt Lake City. When I got there I did not know what I was going to do but coincidently it was testimony weekend. I visited a branch, gave my testimony and headed back to the airport. The persistent thought continued and in March 2006 I quit my job with the IRS and moved to Utah. When I landed in Utah I had no job, no family, no friends, not a place to stay and no idea what was next. But, convinced that a higher power had commanded me to move to Utah, I was not much concerned. Since I did not have a place to stay and signed up to stay a whole month at an extended stay hotel. I then got a studio apartment at 239 East South Temple, just a couple of blocks away from the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. That was the building that the then prophet of the LDS, Gordon B. Hinckley, would attend his Sunday meetings. I started to have those persistent thoughts again but this time were very scary – the voices in my head said “Kill the prophet”.   That’s when I knew that the sources of those thoughts had to be two things, external and opposing. More importantly, is like one source figured out that there was another source and how the signal was being used and duplicated the signal (and that is yet another mirrored reality). Wait, there was a "voice" in my head telling me to kill the prophet of the church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints? . That did not make sense to me, I had no personal reason to do that. Of course I did not kill him, instead I one day testified in front of the prophet that I had seen a pillar of light that came from the heavens and that I had been visited by three supreme intelligences when I was 10 years old. (Coincidently in 1978 revelation came to the then prophet that all males should receive the priesthood). A personal true story that was similar to that of Joseph Smith. A couple of years later in the March 2008 Edition of the "Century" (a student magazine of the Salt Lake University Institute of Religion) part of that story was accounted for in that publication. It was not until recently, around 2017, that I realized or theorized, that when the voices where calling to kill the prophet, they were referring about me. Convinced that this is where I was supposed to be I setout to start a new chapter in my life. Armed with all my previous work experiences and "the hand of the Lord" I was determined to start my own business and become "financially independent". So I follow the small business path and in April 1 2006 (April fools day) registered my company DNA, LLC. Developed Network Associates. For now, long story short, it did not go anywhere (except all of the additional expenses of course). Just another dream slowly disappearing. Shortly thereafter, around May 2006, I was looking for work and found myself at Universal Accounting Systems, as the name implies a place where you learn about accounting. Long story short, I was convinced by the VP of Universal Accounting that if I took the accounting course (around $3000) I would eventually be working as an instructor for them. Of course there was not contract. Of course he had to say I can not promise you a job, but "I am telling you, to get the job you first have to take the course." Why would I doubt him? He was a Mormon, I was a Mormon. He was supposed to be honorable and truthful. So I took the course in accounting (of course I did not need it with a BA in Accounting under my belt). You guessed it, after payment was made, no job offer came down.   Self Employed Taxi - Yellow Cab Kelly Temporary Sevices Substitute Teacher Year: 2007 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Discover Financial Services Collections Account Manager Year: 2008 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Kelly Temporary Sevices Temporary Employee @ Wells Fargo Bank Teleperformance USA Dell A+ Certified Technician   Self Employed Taxi - Ute Cab   Year: 2009 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Prosper Inc Sales Associate From January 2008 to April 2009 I lived at 519 Lowell Ave, Salt Lake City, UT. During this time I had been visiting a family ward and a singles ward in Salt Lake City. One testimony Sunday, after giving my testimony, I was pulled to the side by 3 older men in the singles ward. The one who claimed to be the bishop said that I should not return to the ward. I asked to speak to the bishop and he said he was the bishop. I said, "you have to be kidding". He replied, "No, and if you come back we'll have you arrested for trespassing". I felt that "cold" sensation going up and down my body. I could not believe what I was hearing from the bishop of the ward. I called the secretary of my home ward and told what happened. I also told my then bishop of my home ward who said I should go to the family ward only. Around May 2008 I was working for a temp agency called Kelly Services. Around April 2009 I was working for a temp agency called Labor Ready Southwest Inc. Around July 2009 I was working for an internet training company called Prosper, Inc. Around August 2009 I was working for a computer training company called Teleperformance USA. Convinced that I had received inspiration from God to do so, in September of 2009, I sent thousands of emails to scientists from around the world (most of which where working for FNAL - Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory and NASA). Here is what it looks like. In the fall of 2009, again, convinced that I had received inspiration from God to do so, I sent a letter to all United State senators pleading to stop the LHC project (Large Hadron Collider). I received a letter from "my then senator", Orrin Hatch, that we have nothing to worry about. To this day I believe they are wrong. You have the blind leading the blind searching for answers they have literally no control over. Remember from the time you were little and you saw two magnets exercise force against each other. Well, what they have created is literally a giant magnet. How could they not foresee that this could have an impact on the magnetic fields of the Earth? Or even worse, to throw off the axis of the Earth? Year: 2010 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Jetblue Airlines Getaway Reservations Agent - I started working for JetBlue on October 12 2010 at 7 am as a part-time reservations agent. Even before I finished training I started doing what I always had done before; improving the processes of the work that I had been trained for. During one of the trainings I sent an email to myself denouncing sexual discrimination from the females in-charge. Just as fast as I sent the email, training and management leaders rushed into the training session to monitor what was going on. I took one year to be “promoted” to the Getaways Department. During my 5 year tenure I denounced sex and ethnic discrimination by my superiors. On September 11th, 2015 I was fired. I was ordered to return my computer and when I went to the office to return it, the HR manager refused to issue a receipt for returning the computer. Fearing that she was rattling me to accuse me of disturbing the peace, I walked out of the office with the computer to await for my receipt by the gate. Since she refused to come to me to give me a receipt for returning the computer, I left. She called the cops and told them that I stole the computer. Four patrol cars surrounded me and I was taken home in the back of a patrol car to retrieve the rest of the computer equipment. Yet another trauma. Year: 2011 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Year: 2012 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Year: 2013 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Year: 2014 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress 12 Mar 2014 Dominican Republic 10-17 May 2014 Dominican Republic 15-19 June 2014 Barbados I had won an all inclusive stay at a hotel in Barbados for selling many vacation packages. Since I did not have a girlfriend to take with me I invited my two kids. First my daughter cancelled and a day or two before the trip my son cancelled. When I got there, there was a young, good looking, lady "throwing" herself at me. I knew all I had to do was to invite her for one drink and I would be able to have my way with her. I also knew right there and then that the whole thing had been manufactured by some intelligence. Perhaps the same intelligence that arranged for me to have my "porn girlfriend" when I was 16 years old. I was like "thanks" but "no thanks". I did not fall for it. I moved to Florida in 2014, but before I left I "foretold" that Christina Victoria Grimmie (March 12, 1994 – June 10, 2016), would be a big star. Rest in peace child, you were a star before you where born. Year: 2015 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress Self Employed Taxi Driver Checker Cab Year: 2016 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress In the summer of 2016 I tried to convince NASA employees to "buy" my story. I had collected in previous years a list of emails of 100's of NASA employees and sent the below emails to all of them. They did not response. Of course it sounds crazy. But I whole heartedly believe every word of it. I believe it so much that the thought of not being able to "fulfil my mission" of providing humanity with inter-stellar spaceships made me more depressed (well that and a whole bunch of other stuff) Well I guess is no surprise that in the fall of 2016 I was diagnosed by the Orland VA medical center with PTSD. All those years suffering from PTSD and no help because the VAMC in San Juan deliberately or mistakenly gave a wrong diagnostic when I came out of active duty. I moved to Philadelphia in 2016. I am currently living with my family, some days with my brother, then my uncle, then my sister, back to my brother, back to my sister, now my mother. I don’t have a “real” job. I don't have a place to call my home. Year: 2017 Lived at: Worked at: Work in Progress Significant Event(s): Work in Progress ===================================================================================================================================== In almost all these jobs I got fired or left for mostly one reason. After finding wrong doing I would become obsessed with "bringing out the truth" and "prosecuting the guilty parties". It was not until 2016 when I was diagnosed with PTSD that it all made sense to me. Ever since basic training, almost every day, several times a day, I go through a mental scene of being in the "court room arguing my defense and/or persecution of others for their wrong doing." Even through all this, all my life, I loved “being a Soldier”. After my separation and subsequent divorce 12 years after getting married, the anxiety and depression was worse. There were times when I thought about “hanging up the gloves”, “cashing in my chips” if you will. But I pulled thru. For many years after my separation from my ex-wife I still had hope of getting back together and having my family again. One day I found out that her boyfriend had to have emergency surgery and for a moment I thought that if he died I would have a chance to get back with her. Almost just as fast I knew I could not call myself a Christian and be having those thoughts and so I prayed for his recovery. It was then I finally had to let go of the idea of having my family again. I’ve been alone for about 15 years during which time I have had no girlfriend, no dates, and no intimacy. Truth be told, is driving me crazy. Mostly because I “found God” and have been trying, unsuccessfully, to do his will. It certainly has been a difficult life, but I don't give up on hope. I think many people in my shoes would have opted for suicide by now. But, I certainly don’t want to kill myself. I want to live, I want to change my life somehow. Working hard (for years 7 days a week) has not worked. Looking for God, well maybe he is too busy with people that need it more than me. Playing the Powerball lottery, well that was a waste of time and money. So here I am, trying to tell my story to see if that helps me change my life somehow. Tuesday March 28, 2017 I am going to NY to be with my dauther to accompany her during her endoscopy. I fear that "they" have caused my daughter to be ill just to mess with my mind. I have been thinking a lot about how all these entities have been causing me to fail at everything I do. I know that “they” could have killed me if they wanted to so I am troubled about why they want me to fail. Maybe they are just having fun with me. Maybe they are trying to accomplish something. I try to be positive and think that this is all about trying to make me strong minded (what does not kill you make you stronger), but I had so many failures in my life and I keep trying to get up. So I ask myself, when does it end. When will I have a chance to have some happiness? So I put this video together trying to convince them that it is only to their advantage to work together with me instead of against me because not only I am a fighter in some respects, but also I have insight that many other human beings don’t have. Therefore I could be an asset. Wednesday March 29, 2017 Thursday March 30, 2017 Saturday April 1, 2017 Sunday April 2, 2017 Sunday April 9, 2017 Thursday April 13, 2017 Sunday April 16, 2017 Monday April 17 2017 Tuesday April 25 2017 2017 2017 2017 Sunday, May 28, 2017 at 9:45am EDT Stephen Hawking wrote "Today we still yearn to know why we are here and where we came from. Humanity’s deepest desire for knowledge is justification enough for our continuing quest. And our goal is nothing less than a complete description of the universe we live in." I know it sounds like delusions of grandiosity, but I think I stumbled into that answer. We are the expression of a paradoxical state of existence and the ongoing manifestation of the full cycle of knowledge! 6/18/2017 The "TV People" said that "I think he is trying to help, he just doesn't know how". My problem is that I think I know how. If my theory is right, and I strongly believe that it is, then the aliens encoded messages in my head under "anesthesia" when they took me away. Those "memories" would have been activated during different stages of my life as "strokes of genius" if I had followed the path they "programmed" me with. But, since there are other forces at play, they have not come to fruition. Those are the " engrams" that I am still trying to "activate". 6/21/2017 I was approaching the traffic light and on my dashboard I see 5:59am. At the traffic light I see the sign "No Turn on Red 6 AM - 6 PM" I stopped and quickly continued. Then in my mind the cop stops me for turning right on red light. We are arguing that my clock said 5:59 am and the cop said it was already 6 am. Then I am in front of the judge. "Your honor, It was 5:59am and even if it was 6 am, we are here for 1 minute?" This is kind of scenario runs thru my mind multiple times a day, for the last 30+ years. Even though I am aware that there is not cop behind me and no judge in front of me and I did not get a ticket and I am on my way to go somewhere and there is not reality to what I am thinking. Still, I can't help it. 6/22/2017 I added a short cut to my favorites bar to the starting point of my website, but, even thought I keep deleting it and doing it over, it automatically goes to the link for the 2000's. Strange! 6/27/2017 I got three free tickets to AMC movie theaters and decided to take my nephew and niece to the movies to see "Transformers". The character of Anthony Hopkins was telling the character of BlankName things that were very similar to my story. Some were in the movie the words "I have to kill you" were displayed in the military control room. Is not the first time that I make associations with plots in the movies with my own life and this time was no different. I took it as if there is an intelligence telling me or at least wanting to have me believe that is going to kill me" 7/6/2017 Today I went to the ER because my blood pressure was 151/102. When I got there the BP had dropped to 138/90. The nurse told me that I need to run to the ER if the BP was something like 200/140. Otherwise I could just make adjustments with diet and exercise. The doctor that saw me said the 151/102 is not something to run to the ER for and that I should just follow up with my primary care physician. 7/7/2017 For many years now I feel like some intelligence is controlling my actions, like a puppet. I look at the TV and see "messages" for me. I look at signs in the street and see numbers that "grab my attention". 666, 777, 311, 613, 313. In the last few years, I see my life depicted in different TV shows and movies. Today I decided to go walking to try to help me with my blood pressure and general health. I was walking down the street and my sight was "drawn" to look at a sign that had 1311 (my kids and my day of birth). Walking back home I was drawn to a police solar power camera unit. There was "SORT", the name of the unit that caused one of my traumas in the army. Later "I decided" to watch a program I hardly ever see, "What would you do?" from ABC which by the way I have not had access to that channel for weeks. One of the stories was about a son coming out to his father about being gay in a restaurant. The name of the father actor - Alfredo. These are not coincidences. There are intelligences causing for these things to happen, and they are not all good or bad. 7/26/2017 If only half the good thoughts I have in my mind are true then humanity would be better with them. I know in my heart all my thoughts are not the result of dilutions of grandiosity. Think about it. Why is it that every cell in our body has all the code for an entire human being but only the brain cells are the "thinking cells"? Humanity has a mirrored reality of that. If God gave every human being the same abilities then "who would perform the functions of the liver, the kidneys, the heart, etc?" But given all the cells in our brain, no individual cell is the consciousness, only the collective efforts of many cells are the consciousness. That has it's mirrored reality. Could the consciousness of humanity be good or evil? If is evil, how do we fix it? Then the individual cells have to make an effort to be good and that is the start of true miracles. 7/28/2017 - Right, wrong or indifferent these are some of the thoughts that I had today. ************************************************************************************************************* I have been over the last couple of weeks retraicing my childhood and yesterday I was in Ponce doing touristy things. When I was at the fire station in Ponce, my brother activated a memory of my childhood "Los bomberitos de Morovis". This is important because the fire station should have done that on it's own, but it did not. Still, the pathway to the memory is there and it took a third party to activate it. On the other hand, another engram was activated by the meer mention of School Bus Driver. When I was a kid, about 5 or 6, our school bus driver brought a duffle bag full of toys for me. That engram was activated as they "should be", by a "trigger", in this case the school bus driver. Funny thing is, I have seen many school busses and school bus drivers through the years and that engram was not activated. Maybe it's also the familiar surroundings (maybe I need to come to Puerto Rico more often!) Then last night all the following thoughts came to my mind. Stop the LHC, that is our apocalypse. The entities that visited me are trapped in this dimension and are using humanity to open a doorway to another dimension which in turn will distroy the planet stealling from Humanity the ability to find it's own path to eternity. Our dreams are not visions of the future, they are memories of our past. This is why the profecies in the Bible are kind of distorted. There are two forces at play, one that is trying to "help" humanity advance forward and one that is trying to stop it from moving forward. These are not what they seem. The one trying to move forward is going to it's destruction. The one trying to stop it is because is trying to keep us from distruction. There are different paths to the progression of humanity. One is outward into space another is towards immortality. The two are in constant conflict. Eveything I've been through in my life has been part of these two forces coliding with each other. I was meant to be a prophet of the Lord, but I have been derailed to keep me from fullfiling that mission. There is a whole lot more encoded in the DNA that humans believe. Is not just coding for cells, it also contains information for the development of humanity. THE KEY TO UNLOCKING THE DNA IS IN THE FINGERPRINTS! ************************************************************************************************************* 7/30/2017 - I did not want to return to the US main land just yet, but I have a doctors appointment tomorrow and I need to keep it. 7/31/2017 - I arrived at the VA on time just to find out that my appointment had been cancelled one day after leaving to Puerto Rico. "They" are doing it again. There is "an intelligence" that wants me to stay in Pennsylvania and another that wants me to leave. 8/13/2017 - Where do our thoughts come from. My life experiences allow me to think that our thoughts are the result of multiple sources. In no particular order; An intelligence we call God, an intelligence we call Satan, the programming that results after watching years of television with programs that have been design by controlling entities, radio and/or microwave signals, encoding in our DNA, and our own brain making adjustments and deductions from the aforementioned. I guess the one that I find most interesting is the ones that have been encoded in our DNA. 8/14/2017 - One of the things that was "revealed" to me about 5-12 years ago was that DNA has information that could help humanity as a whole but the markers are found in sections that are distributed among all races. So that if one race were to be annihilated then we would not get the "entire picture". Think about it! If I my thoughts are the result of dilutions of grandiosity we loose nothing. If I was chosen to deliver information to humanity thru some form of recursive process then is not too late. "Blessed be thy name oh Great Jehovah, for when I am who I am because of thy will I am greater than who I am because of mine!" 8/15/2017 - Think about it. A civilization that has accomplished interstellar travel, beings that have evolved to a point that they could control matter at will. In an election against any of the leader that we have on this earth, would they have any competition? People vote for one candidate or another hoping that such candidate could do something for them. Sadly enough, many people treat those candidates like gods. We as the human race should show those entities that I experienced when I was about 10 years old that we have what it takes to work together as one. That we could rise above our petty differences and accomplish everything that we have been placed on this earth to do, including peace among ourselves. When you look at the media and see what is going on in the world, don't you ask yourself, how could we fix this? Could such persons be deserving of any grace from a higher intelligence? Well, the sad truth is yes, but not for the reasons you might think. We were all created in the likeness and image of God. However, all that power is going to waste if we do not work together to make this a better world (yes that includes all races and countries). When we get our act together, there are wonders without measure awaiting for humanity! I know that because I have seen the possibilities. 8/16/2017 - As many other days I woke up today feeling depressed about my situation. I did not want to get out of bed. I am having "a thousand" thoughts in my head. Then one of those thoughts "woke me up". The thought, which comes in words and images, was about passing a human thru the eye of a needle. Very simple, all you have to do is pass one cell (which contains your DNA). Then the question came, what about your thoughts and history? The answer - that is encoded in the DNA. Please understand that this is not a claim about the truthfulness of the science behind the statements. Only just the truthfulness of my thoughts. Worse case scenario, it makes a good plot for a science fiction movie! So I finally get up around 1pm to get some breakfast and while the oatmeal is heating up I am browsing the internet for something to distract my mind. Long story short, I start watching a video on "Life in Our Universe". The professor talks about how frightening the possibility of life elsewhere or lack thereof is. In the mean time, I am wanting to "reach thru the screen, grab him by the neck and shake him like a Bobble-head" to let him know that I know that we are not alone in the universe. The professor also questions the benevolence of such possible intelligent life forms. Five to twelve years ago the answer that came to my mind - that's been taken care off by the grand design. That is why the space between galaxies is so vast. "Blessed be thy name oh Great Jehovah, for when I am who I am because of thy will I am greater than who I am because of mine!" So the professor goes on to show a model of our planetary system and my mind jumps again to thoughts that I had about 5-12 years ago about life. They were something like this: Civilazation after civilation we go through a full cycle of knowledge. In years to come we will learn how to terraform mars and it does not matter at what level of terraforming mars we get to, get there we must in order for another cycle of knowledge to take place. In the Big Bang Theory scientist explain that after “the first three minutes” (I wonder how they could get that so precise, LOL) there was a cooling down that allowed elements to form. Before those three minutes after the Big Bang, atoms simply could not form. And there it is, proof of intelligent design once again. After those first three minutes after the bang things that were similar started emerging. Things that had a logical order that eventually would yield life. If there was no intelligent design then the things that emerged out of the big bang would always be disorganized. Meaning, the elements would not have the consistency that we see in the periodic table. As you depart away from the point of explosion, you would not see the consistency in the formation of stars and planetary systems. Could we find mirrored realities about that, yes. Take any item and set it off with a bomb. Without, intelligent intervention, that item could not be organized again. And so is the universe. 8/17/17 - This morning I woke up around 4am. I could not sleep. I was “guided” to watch some Netflix and “drawn” to watch a movie Called “Dejavu” with Densel Washington. First please understand, that I have recently made a change to the beginning of my story on my webpage that included the following sentences: Well, exactly how have I arrived at such conclusions? If I said I did it all on my own that would be the biggest lie ever told. It has been a combination of many things, including, interactions with supreme intelligences, interactions with an array of imperfect humans, my own trials and errors, and, dare I say, divine intervention. Divine intervention? Yes, but you could only agree with that statement if you believe that someone with my history could not arrive at the conclusions that I have arrived at and have the thoughts that I have had if it was not for the intervention of a supreme intelligence. At the very beginning of the page I speak about: Well, then at some point, the universe became aware of itself and proceeded to design everything in “it’s mind”. Now this might be a little hard to wrap your head around but “at that point in which the universe became aware of itself” then something else happened: “Everything that will ever be already was”. In the movie, there were statements that “caught” my attention (more like being drawn to them): 38:28 But we will notice a change, even a small change, in her life. 41:06 Who’s watching her? We are. 43:07 Everything that God has done will remain forever. There is nothing to add to it, nothing to take from it. God has done this so that men should be in awe… Whatever is has already been, and what will be has been before. 44:53 The computer screen in the movie shows the date March 3 2006. March 2006 is when I moved to Utah. 46:17 The story of my life. Is the story of my life too. 51:09 she responded from four and a half days ago (Time bending, which is one of the issues with the LHC). 1:19:08 Cause I have seen what’s coming… I told your earlier I have a destiny, a purpose. Satan reasons like man, but God thinks of eternity. Well, I prostrate myself before a world that’s going to hell in a handbag, ‘cause in all eternity, I am here and I will be remembered. That’s destiny. A bomb has a destiny, a predetermined fate set by the hand of its creator. And anyone who tries to alter that destiny will be destroyed. Anyone who tries to stop it from happening will cause it to happen. Ant that’s what you don’t understand. We’re not here to coexist. I’m here to win. So you’d better have some divine intervention, buddy. You’re going to need it. 1:32:28 The number on the door of the ambulance 3116 my date of birth is 3-11 (6 could have been for 2006 but I am not sure) Now looking back at about March 2006 that is when I moved to Utah. (under guidance of the Holy Spirit) In 2008 I was having concerns about the LHC and sent letter to a whole bunch of senators. This can’t be a coincidence. Some intelligence is reaching out to me from another dimension and is still trying. This tell me that is not too late. Even though the LHC supposedly went online and supposedly yielded the answers they were looking for, some intelligence is still trying to reach out to me. 1:39:34 What if you had to tell someone the most important thing in the world but you know they’d never believe you. What would you do? I’d try. The name on the Ferry (Ben. Alvin T. STUMPF) Since your brain has a tendency to insert letters where there aren’t, for a Moment it read TRUMP. My conclusion from all of this is that there is in fact an intelligence that is reaching out to humanity thru me to keep it from some catastrophe, among other things. So here I am, trying again. I have lost so much in my life, trying. But doing the will of God is more important than all those things I have lost, including being with my kids and family. For it has been due to the 1st and the 2nd commandments. And when asked if I’d do it all again, well here I am again. Because humanity is more important than what people say even if that means they call me crazy. So this morning around 6 am I sent the following email to each of the members of the SSCI: Richard Burr, North Carolina, Chairman. Jim Risch, Idaho. Marco Rubio, Florida. Susan Collins, Maine. Roy Blunt, Missouri. James Lankford, Oklahoma. Tom Cotton, Arkansas. John Cornyn, Texas. Dear Senator, Your prompt attention to this matter is of not just US but Humanity’s security. I have strong reason to know we are all experiencing a kind of Dejavu. You could sit there and consider me crazy or you could immediately make me a member of the Senate intelligence committee and let the dice roll. Believe you me, you are betting against the future of humanity. 8/19/17 - These people are actively worshiping the Devil in plain sight. Are there any human beings out there that will stand up to the atrocities that they are creating. 8/20/17 - The Manchurian Candidate with Denzel Washington was released in 2004. That was two years before I went to SLC. In 2005 I was placed under anesthesia at VAMC SJU under traumatic conditions. I believe “they hypnotized me” while under anesthesia. In 2006 I had persisting thoughts of killing the then President of the LDS church Gordon B Hinckley. First, they tell their group of followers what they are going to do using the movies; then they executed the plan when they got a hold of me at the VAMC SJU. But their plan failed, I did not kill the LDS president. This is the real-life story about “dark groups” exercising mind control over US Citizens. There is more than ONE reality going on at the same time. One reality is interfering with the other trying to keep me from the grasp of the other. 30:01 Are you taking your meds (they always try to get me to drink meds) 30:33 I have PTSD and every other mood disorder that you can name… …in those 12 years I’ve been a good soldier (I did about 12 years in the Army/Reserves) 44:48 Denzel arrives at PA station (I know live in PA) 45:33 El Dorado 59970… …can you remember or should I write on your chest with a sharpie. (This is not only a link to the movie Dejavu but is also a link to me - it's another mirrored reality) 1:05:38 The surveillance notes date is 08/23/2008 (Around the time I was sending emails to the scientist to stop LHC) 8/22/17 - I feel like I am falling apart inside and I don't trust the doctor's at the VA. This is not because they are all bad, I just think that there are "dark groups" within society that are controlling many things, including in the VA and we are all subject to their grasp. 9/1/17 - Last night I was feverish and I had to see a doctor today. I went to the VAMC Philadelphia and the nurse took my blood pressure. It was below 110-120/60-70 something. It does not make sense. Before and after that reading my home machine has been in the upper 130's and 90's. The bottom of my feet hurt around the kidney area (foot reflexology). My lower back hurts, around the kidneys. I have been taking Tylenol for daily headaches. I think they are just going to let me die by letting my kidneys fail and my blood pressure cause a heart attack or brain aneurism. 9/4/17 - (Sent to Richard Burr, NC and Marco Rubio, FL) If I was the Chinese and I wanted to take over the world I would setup shop in 41,000 Chinese restaurants through the US, provide North Korea with nuclear knowledge, disable the US population with cholesterol, and when the time of war comes, all 41,000 Chinese restaurants strike with poison weakening the ground reserves. Do you think for one moment that the Chinese population would turn against mother china if we were at war with China just because they have been Americanized? If you think Mexicans and Muslims pose a threat to US national security, think about what the Chinese would do? First thing you need to do to avoid the risk is to have control of Chinese restaurant food supply. Or maybe you already thought about this and this email is just redundant information? Either way, these are the kind of thoughts a nobody like me has. Imagine if I was somebody! 9/4/17 - On the X axis you have time, on the Z axis you have cycles and on the Y axis you have amount of knowledge. As time goes by you increase the amount and number of cycles until you get to a singularity (A point in time where no more knowledge is possible or irrelevant. A point where Alpha and Omega exists) The trick is to get to that point “yesterday”. This is why you, among other things should avoid nuclear war at all cost and save me! 9/5/17 - "They" said that they were tired of my unpredictability. Don't they know is not me! What I do, I am caused to do. Blessed be thy name of great Jehovah, for when I am who I am because of thy will I am greater than who I am because of mine. Imagine all the knowledge humanity has up to this point. That is Level 1, Circle 1. Imagine all the knowledge humanity will have 10K years from now. That is Level 2, Circle 2. Circle 2 is smaller than Circle 1 but denser. Keep accumulating knowledge thru time and levels until you get to a single point, the Alpha and the Omega. The full cycle of knowledge is not a function of time, is a function of collaboration. 9/10/17 – The “TV people” said there would be an attempt against the US president over the next two weeks. 9/14/17 - Today in GMA there was a report that there was a dinner at the WH and they had Chinese. Are "they" mocking me? Are "they" acknowledging they got my message? Either way I am convinced the "Chinese food" bit has to do with me. If it is mocking me then, ha ha. If it is acknowledgement then, you know what I need, so make it happen. I don't know when my day will come but just as I am sure the sunrise came out this morning, that much I am sure that there is much more to my mind that needs to come out (what was placed there by either the aliens or God). Mind your garden. Frost coming. Luck on the Mozop. Pick a Star any star, anyone of them could be a spaceship! 9/15/17 - I went to visit your country yesterday September 14, 2017 and had the worst travel experience ever. I had previously inquired what I needed to enter Canada and was told all I needed was my passport. Your immigration official said that I was being denied entry because “When you travel to any country you have to have definite plans. I am denying you entry because you don’t own a home in the US and you don’t have a steady job or anything else tying you to the US”. Upon arrival, I followed all instructions without complaint or hesitation. I presented my passport, I answered all questions (which were a lot more than I had to answer in other countries), I surrendered my car keys without hesitation to have my car inspected (the official went thru all my belongings and did not find any contraband). I showed the official proof of hotel reservation, proof of income (I opened my bank app and showed him regular government payments to my account). I was wearing my Army Veteran hat and my license shows proof of Veteran Status. If there had been a warrant in the US for my arrest I am sure he would have found it. Heck short of a strip search I passed all flags with flying colors. I believe his decision to deny me entry was personal and he should be held accountable for that. It is an issue of trust and integrity which every law enforcement officer should be held to the highest standard. I only see two possibilities, either the laws and protocols of entry into Canada are so strict that a person like me can’t cross the border on vacation to have a good time or this official abused his authority to deny me entry. During my hour long interview and wait there was a white male that arrived and was given entry right away and two Chinese ladies that did not wait more than fifteen minutes and were not ask so many questions. Given the fact that thousands of people cross the border every day, legally and illegally and that it was easier for two other parties to enter I believe that the official used his “personal judgement” and not the law to deny me entry. In either case, buyer beware! After you have spent money in travel, forgone income, and arrive at the border, the immigration official could ruin your vacation with or without good cause. Suffice to say I will not be trying to travel to Canada again but I’ll be sure to tell as many people as I can of my experience such that they could make better informed decisions about their plans to visit Canada. You have your immigration official to thank for that. Before leaving to Canada I told my son, "Maybe I'll meet a French lady, have a glass of wine and say Bonjour mon ami". And so there goes another dream down the drain. 9/16/17 - The first person to correctly answer these three questions for me will get a FREE LAPTOP! Q1. At what point in the theory of evolution does the process goes from linear to recursive? The human body has 60-100 Trillion cells and each one of them has a copy of your DNA. Simply put, there are 60-100 trillion copies of you inside of you. Hence at some point in the theory of evolution I had to become a copy of me 60-100 trillion times before I became me. (That sounds like a paradox to me) Q2. How long does it take for each accidental, yet perfect, mutation to occur? According to the theory of evolution we are the result of accidental chemical mixtures. Well, presumably, if we have 60-100 trillion parts it is safe to conclude that you needed at least 60-100 trillion permutations to come up with one human being. Let’s say that each permutation takes one year (just to give it a starting point). Then that means that it would take 60-100 Trillion years to evolve into a human being (and we are not even counting the trillions of permutations that it would take for every other living organism on the face of this planet). Hold up, that would not make sense because scientist (the so-called experts) say that our planet is 4.5 billion years old and our universe (the Big Bang) is 13.5 Billion years old. It does not fit, does it? Ok, let’s compromise and say these permutations are occurring very fast and it only takes one month instead of one year. Well, one twelfth of 60 Trillion is 5 Trillion. It still does not fit, does it? Wait it gets better. Let’s say that these accidental yet perfect mutations are really cranking up and they are occurring every week. That means you would need 1.153 Trillion years to evolve. How about every day? That’s 164 Billion years. How about every hour? 6.8 Billion years. Hey we are getting close, now it fits into our universe. (now we could fit our theory of evolution into our flat surface of the earth theory). Ok, if these perfect mutations happen every hour; How come we are not morphing every day? Q3. At what point in the evolution process did nature decided that we needed to have serial numbers? The human body has finger prints. That sounds like a serial number to me. At what point did nature decided that it needed to provide us with a mechanism by which we could be identified individually? If you have the answers to these three questions please visit: https://www.MySecondChanceInLife.com and click on Contact Me 9/24/17 - The "TV people" said that they are just waiting for my mother to die. 11/12/2017 - "It's better to live a fallacy than to die in truth, for no matter how crazy this world is, to be alive is the greatest truth of all" 11/22/2017 - Take all the knowledge that humanity has acquired up to this point and called it K1. If there was a catastrophe were there were only a few people left on Earth. To achieve K1 you would have to repopulate Earth. Take all the knowledge that we could acquire over the next 10 thousand years and let’s call that K2. In order to achieve K2 you would have to repopulate the galaxy. If you kill millions of people to try to stop global warming, then achieving K2 is going to be that much more difficult if not impossible. The responsible thing to do, and grant you is not the most popular, is to be more responsible with energy production to include but not limited to elimination of fossil fuels and improving the quality of life for all humans (yes, Americans, Russians, Arabs, Hispanics, Chinese, etc.) How many 10 thousand year periods can you fit in a 4.5 billion year old Earth? How about a 13.5 billion year old big bang? What advancements could we achieve as humanity that would not be possible if only one race or group thereof succeed? I could tell you that it has been tried before and it did not work. It is ignorant to assume that this is the first time for K1 and K2, especially since I have experienced evidence that proves that is not. We cannot continue with the childish, irresponsible and racist leadership that we have. We must rise about our human condition to achieve the seemingly impossible because I could tell you from my experiences that we can. That is what we were created to do, to achieve the full cycle of knowledge, and it is going to be achieved one way or the other, with or without us. We must work towards that goal for the good of all mankind. 02/09/18 - Let's try and re-interpret The Bible. First let's take a look at the Cover page, index and timeline of the New Testament. 5/8/2018 - I feel lost and confused. The more I think about it, the more I am convinced that I am supposed to do something grand for humanity. But the more I share with other people, like my psychologist, the more that they convince me that I am delusional. It makes me mad the obvious attacks on God and religion, specially when they are done by people who are supposed to be very intelligent. When a famous physicist says that religion does not belong in the same room as science, well, my head hurts. John 1:1 "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God..." THAT'S A PARADOX, you know, like a Klein Bottle!. Psalm 139:16 " Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them" THAT'S DESCRIBING DNA! Revelation 6:14 "And the heaven departed as a scroll when it is rolled together; and every mountain and island were moved out of their places." SOUNDS LIKE A BLACK HOLE! 1 John 1:7 "But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin." MAYBE I'M READING TOO MUCH INTO IT BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE DYALISIS TO ME! In my mind is so simple, but I just can't seem to come up with the right words. Let me try! The Universe is and so is intelligence and consequently GOD. Just like 1+1=2 so is everything else in the universe. So, God was alone in the universes and thought of everything that WILL EVER WAS. Yes, another paradox. If you think about it, that explains the Alpha & Omega. How could God be the Alpha & Omega if God was not able to think of everything that ever WAS! In fact, in the Bible, John 1:1 states "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." That is describing a paradox. Now, one of the most pressing questions human beings have is that of our purpose here on this earth. It came to my mind, "We are part of a paradoxical state of existence undergoing the physical manifestation of the full cycle of knowledge." Imagine an intelligence that knows everything that will be and everything that was. Why would that intelligence have the "need" to give us eternal life or anything else for that matter? It doesn't! Now, if you could build/create everything there ever WAS, then why not have YOUR CREATION go thru the growing pains of learning how to create everything that there ever WAS? Therefore, all the thoughts that God have about everything that there ever WAS are manifesting themselves thru us little by little. We are the physical manifestation of the inteligence that God has and God's intelligence is being manifested thru us as well. This notion is consistent with the ALPHA & Omega, and it is also consistent with mirrored realities. 1/13/19 – I was on my way to pick up an Uber customer, when I noticed a pickup truck traveling too fast for the snowy road conditions and I “saw” he was going to hit me. I slowed down to almost a stop while moving to the right of the road and, when I looked to my left, I saw the pickup truck barreling down towards my door. I let off the break and hit the gas. That move saved my life. If I had not, the pickup truck would have hit my driver door potentially causing major injuries if not death. Well, in retrospect, I believe that there is an intelligence that caused the accident to happen and another that caused for me to release the foot of the break and apply the gas to avoid direct impact. The police and ambulance arrived at the scene and the other driver admitted fault for the accident. When it was time to take me to the ER the ambulance workers refused to take me to the VA medical center. I got there by taking an Uber. When I was admitted to the ER, the nurse was visibly and verbally upset that I did not got to a non-VA ER. When she put the neck brace, she did it with a rough movement as if she was upset. I was taken for a CT Scan and later discharged. I was in pain but was hopping that everything would be OK, since the ER doctor said that everything was OK. I continued to have head, neck and back pain since the accident. I called my PPL office to get advice on how to proceed. The lawyer said that my recording of the accident scene could be considered illegal wire tapping and recommended that I delete the video. I did not want to get a lawyer at the beginning of the whole process for several reasons. First, since I was told that my recording of the accident could be considered illegal wire tapping, I was affraid that "pushing" with a lawsuit would prompt the insurance company to seek charges against me and I figured that keeping quite about a lawyer would desuade them from doing that. Additionally, I am paranoid of lawyers, they are also a trigger for my PTSD. I also did not want to get into a situation where I would become a pawn for doctors and lawyers to make money on the account doctors making exaggerated claims as I have seen on TV. Nontheless I was still in pain and wanted to get help. I called a PT place and they said that the first thing I had to do was to get a lawyer. I did not want to do that and did not call them back. I was in so much pain that I couldn't take it anymore. I asked the insurance company if it was OK to get a massage to which they said yes. I had two sessions. I finally called a lawyer firm that I saw a billboard and they referred me to a PT place on Lehigh. After contacting the PT placed I asked if it was necesary to have a lawyer in order to get their services. They said no and I called back the law firm and told them I was not ready to move forward with a lawyer. 4/11/19 - I had an appointment today with Dr? Rajan at the Physical Therapy department of the Philadelphia VAMC. Rajan said asked me what was wrong and I explained to him that I had pain in my neck, and lower back and headaches. At first he said that VA normaly does not charge outside facilities for the care provided to the VA patients. That struck me as odd because I thought that that was not revelant to our discussion of my condition. He also stated that the time that he was allowed to help me did not have enough time to take care of all my complaints and that he was going to focus on the one that bothered me the most. I told him my neck. Suddenly he changed strategies and said that he was going to fix both problems "today". Today? I asked. He asserted, yes today. I said OK and thought to myself, I have to see this. He placed me first in a position that , as of today 08-22-2019, I don't remember exactly but the result was like a cracking feeling in the middle of my back. Then he put me on my left side on the table and said, this is going to hurt a little but is going to fix the pain in your lower back. With one hand he pressed on the side of my hip while at the same time moving my leg towards my chest. To this day (08/22/19) I still feel the pain in the same spot where he pressed on the side of my hip while I am sitting or laying down on bed. I never had that pain before his procedure. I think he deliverately dislocated a joing in my hip to cause both physical pain and mental anguish. I think there was a concentrated effort by the staff at Philadelphia VAMC to cause me to be suicidal. (The eye doctor caused a lot of pain to my right eye, the dentist made me feel like I would be infected by HIV or other blood borne patogen, everybody kept asking me if I was suicidal, etc) 4/15/19 - Chromosome A + Chromosome B = Fingerprint (a serial number). The key to unlocking the DNA is in the fingerprints. 5/6/19 – is 2 am and I can’t sleep, again. My mind is invaded by thoughts of “the others” wanting to harm me during the upcoming scheduled MRI of my neck and back next Tuesday. 5/7/19 - 3:58 am I just woke up at 3:50 am with a nightmare. In the nightmare, someone was forcefully injecting me with a needle while I was on a hospital gown. 5/7/19 - 10:58 am I went to have the MRI done anyway. I freaked out the first 5 minutes to the point that the technician had to remove me from the machine. But then he calmed me down and I went thru with it. He was very accomodating, but I think that the whole process took longer than it should have. Total time insied the MRI machine was 1 hr and 40 minutes. 6/5/19 - 6/8/19 - I went to the movies in Vega Alta and, while making the line to see the new release of X-Men, there was a young lady with her son in front of me. I started the conversation with it was a good idea to bring a light jacket to the theater. What happened next was unexpected. She poured her life out in a few minutes. From her military experiences in intelligence, to her mental illness and medications, to stories about death, anxiety, depression and PTSD. I knew right away it was another set up (Just like the time I went to Barbados.) And now that I think about it, it happened a few weeks ago at another theater in Barceloneta. At that time, the young lady and I did not strike a conversation, but her attire and being right in front of me displaying her bosom without a bra was no coincidence. I don't know who or what is causing this things to happen, but causing them to happen something or someone is. I believe they or it is trying to get me to go crazy and or commit suicide. I have various theories about who or what it may be, but regardless, they are up to no good. The sad part is that it is my firm believe that it's a waste of time. It or they could be doing so much better things with that power. It's a shame. 6/12/19 - Through all these years hearing "the voices" in my head I had never considered that they may be coming from a different timeline, until today. I must try to figure out a way to determine the time. If this is not another delusion, they are coming from approximately 2 years into the future. OMG, that's why "the daemons" kept asking me what I thought about the possible outcome of different things. 6/13/19 - My son is with me. :-) My son seems to be in trouble. :-( He told me about some problems he had with a girl. I've never heard anything like it from a young man. I am very concerned for him and his safety. God please help him. 6/19/19 - I returned to Philadelphia today very exahusted because I had been awake since yesterday around 4 am. There is so much in my mind. I am worried about my son and his trip to Albany. 8/22/19 - I had nightmares again today. This time I was waiting a long time for someone at DMV to give me my license that was ready and the anxiety of waiting in the dream caused me to wake up out of breath. I went to school anyway and feel very sleepy. I feel I can't wait any longer to get medical attention for all the conditions I have (headaches, neck pain, numbness in my arms, lower back pain, hip pain, abdominal pain, blood in the stools, anxiety, depression, etc) I know I need help but I am affraid of being hurt again at the VA. at the same token I am affraid of doing nothing. I went to see a private doctor outside of the VA but the labs, x-rays, etc are too expensive. Therefore I feel like I don't have a choice but to return to the VA system. I made an appointment with SJU VAMC but is too far away. Today I am at the SJU VAMC as a walking patient. I arrived at 1045 am and as of 1215 have not been seen. I intend to asked the doctor to request the xrays, blood work and other test recommended by the private doctor. 11/14/19 - I got an F in my first Math Exam :-( 47%. But I am not giving up! 2/4/2020 7 am - Wrote to POTUS - 1. Book of Secrets, One Entry, prevent next cycle 2. Evacuate PR by Feb 18, 3. How many cycles? For each unique data point that I am not supposed to have, one. 2/11/2020 Traveled to Orlando, FL by plane. 2/12/2020 Traveled to Katy, TX by car. 2/16/2020 Traveled to Salt Lake City, UT by car. 2/20/2020 Traveled to Orlando, FL by car. 2/21/2020 Was stoped by Wyoming State Trooper on Route 80 East. Accoding to him, I was speeding. I stood my ground in that I was not. He let me go with a warning. 2/22/2020 Around midnight I looked at a news on my phone about the Corona Virus in which the total number of infected vs deaths at the time was 77,000 vs 2400. When I calculated the ratio I got 0.03116883116 and quickly noticed it was my date of birth 03-11-68 and a zip code 83116 belonging to Wyoming. I immediately concluded that all my actions are being "caused". (Blessed be thy name oh great Jehova, for when I am who I am because of thy will, I am greater than who I am because of mine) 2/25/2020 Traveled to San Juan, PR by plane. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- This of course is not the whole story. There is a lot more to tell about. The time when I thought I would become a prophet of the Lord. The time when I thought I would become an engineer and help save humanity. The times when I thought that God was giving me the answers to everything in life, from the end of time to the beginning. I want to do something grand. Something that will allow me to take care of my kids better, my aging parents, my ill sister, get a girlfriend, maybe another kid, etc. I don’t want to give up but I need help. I think that "selling my story" is a way to do that. When I look back at my life all I see is "A pile of broken dreams". For as long as I am alive, I must keep dreaming. If you would like to hear more of this story please come back to my website every now and then. Updates are being posted daily.
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References:
1. Quote adopted from http://www.patheos.com/blogs/adrianwarnock/2009/10/god-breaks-those-he-wants-to-make-great/